24, Seasons 8-14

The makers of 24, who first revolutionized television by combining an overly literal reading of Aristotle and a main character whose name rhymes with Power, follow up the success of the previous daylight savings themed season, 25: Spring Forward, Fall Apart, with an even lengthier longest day in Jack Bauer's life. The next six seasons will take place on Pluto, where the days are 153 hours long. The cast and crew are pretty tight lipped about the plot, but they have said that this season will find Jack, who was crucified in the last season by swarthy Aramaic-speakers, resurrected within the first four episodes in order to thwart a potential terrorist attack on Pluto. This time the terrorists are attempting to refine a plutonium bomb on Pluto in order to subject the English Speaking Peoples to the worst pun the language has ever seen. It is unclear at this point whether the terrorists will be motivated by hatred of our way of life or a desire to avenge Pluto's loss of planet status. What is clear is that the plot will not be clear! As Jack Bauer does things to terrorists that the ASPCA wont let us do to our food, Sutherland's performance will once again show a man balancing on the razor's edge between patriotism and sociopathy. The next six seasons once again promise us confront us with the moral compromises that must be made by men like Jack Bauer so that civilians like us have the freedom to safely watch shows in which someone almost inevitably gets stabbed in the throat.